To comment or
sign up for our Journal fill out form
To Home Page
A reminder of the task at hand- moving into intimacy or 'oneness' with Triune God, as seen in Psalm 139. There’s a hidden identity in you; You may have superpowers hiding in there. God knows who you are. He has a process for you to discover who you are too.
5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Psalm 139:5,6 NIV
5 You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. With your hand of love upon my life, you impart a blessing to me. 6 This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible! Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.
Psalm 139:5,6 Passion Translation
Have you ever experienced anything too wonderful? Some life events are described in that way; That day, when I graduated was too wonderful. Our marriage day, too wonderful! I was overwhelmed with emotions! The birth of our first child was too wonderful to describe! Wonderful describes something extremely good.
What are your “too wonderful” experiences?...
Here’s the deal about the word wonderful; the meaning of this word has changed over centuries of use. We think of wonderful as describing something extremely good. When the verse says, “such knowledge is too wonderful for me,” it has a depth that goes beyond our understanding of wonderful today. In this verse, it is the original meaning that reveals the depth of King Davids insights.
Wonderful is the word for “full of wonder.” There is a true sense of astonishment. The passion translation finds the words needed to see this. We can experience the wonder of a living relationship with God. In the intimate place with him, you and I are astonished by who he is and how he describes us.
Last week I described our relationship like this;
“This translation captures the strength of the connection. God’s love looks like these two verses. Love goes before us with a purpose. Loves purpose is to prepare the way for you and me. Our future has already been inhabited by the love God has for us. It has made a home for me, a place to live out my life, in my future timeline before I get there.”
As a child, I was in therapy for emotional behaviors. I saw my first therapist when I was about ten years of age. Off and on over my life, I had therapy sessions with licensed therapists and pastoral counselors. One of my big breakthroughs came when a therapist recognized who I was beyond the behaviors I was trying to change. He saw character strengths and affirmed them. In doing so, he and I began to see my “problem behaviors” in a new light. We found that the issue wasn’t the issue that I had been identified with for decades! What brought this about? He took the time to see me in the ways that were not so obvious. The diagnosis I brought with me did not determine who I was to him. His ability to see me this way was extraordinary!
For many years I had been treated for various forms of depression. Dysthymia and Bipolar II are two of the diagnosis I carried in with me. Bipolar II is a non-curable disorder. He recognized this diagnosis but also looked beyond them. He saw a guy buried under them who was frantically seeking attention, recognition, and help! What a monumental experience to be seen beyond the labels! I was full of wonder. Someone finally saw me. Someone was willing to stop my past from describing who I was long enough to see my present and possible future hope.
I need to break away from the writing above to be raw with you. After writing the last paragraph, I began crying and then deeply sobbing. Here I am twenty+ minutes later. I had childhood trauma around ages nine to ten years old. I also had asthma and allergies since birth. The severity of the asthma was life-threatening with many trips to the children’s hospital every year. Behavioral problems were an added component to these issues. I was crying because these experiences I know about were moved from the place where I know them to heart understanding. Father-God, yes the One who is intimately aware of me, chose that moment to be with me in the place I call “The Hidden Place.” It’s a personal altar where all of Triune God meets with all of who I am. Confession, worship, connection, intimacy is experienced there.
Triune God just took a big chunk of my past and, in kindness, brought it to a place where it would not cause me harm again. I can relate to you the external processes that took place and some of the internal process too. But I can’t form into words the depth of this experience. It was a time of wonder. Times of wonder are not necessarily being overwhelmed by beauty or joy. Many times wonder is about these intimate times where God demonstrates his understanding of me that I cannot comprehend. The result I’m experiencing is new strength. For twenty minutes, heart transformation happened. A question that has troubled me for a long time, God answered. The answer came through weeping at the altar. Nothing else mattered.
As you read this, did you sense that there are large parts of who you are covered up? Are you an adult but you, as a child, are crying out to be discovered and seen as who you authentically are? Triune God knows you and his understanding of who He imagined you to be is waiting for you to see. If you’ve not experienced this transforming process, then you may need some guidance beyond this journal post. You may connect with me through my email or connect with Lila through her email. Lila has experienced this intimate process with God too. We welcome conversations about the process that brings strength to our lives.
Sex Addiction Mentor
Selma, CA 93662-0297